Saturday, September 20, 2008

Unconventional Day for a Doctor

So I thought I would share my unconventional day with you, so I could confirm that I am an unconventional doctor.

Serenity Now!

The day today started with two children climbing into bed with my wife and I at 6:00 AM. I thought I would let my wife sleep in for a day, since she is up at 6 am every day with the kiddos. So in my morning fog, groggy, I brought the two bedbugs downstairs. Now I had a rough day the day before and made a special trip on my way home to pick up a treat for myself (I often console myself with sweets, believing I deserve it for a hard day's work, only to beat myself up about it the next day in the name of exercising more). I came home with chocolate, diet dr. pepper, and white chocolate macadamian nut cookies. Now, I would say that cookies are my second favorite food, right behind ice cream (I didn't get ice cream in the name of moderation. I can eat just 1 or 2 cookies and quit if I start feeling guilty, and if I don't I can eat more; with ice cream, there's no stopping me. It's all destined for digestion). So desiring some sweats this morn to awaken my senses, I start searching for my cookies. They aren't where I left them, so I inquire of my 4 yr old son if he knew their whereabouts. He proceeded to tell me that he had my cookies and he hid them, but he couldn't remember where. So we start looking. And we look. And we ask, "where are the cookies, Bub?" And we look some more. Now I'm getting frustrated, and I let loose on my son, "Bub, if you want some of daddy's cookies, ask first. If you eat some, put them back where you get them! All I wanted this morning was some cookies!" (Who is the 4 year old)? So I walk away in frustration, peeved at my 4 year old because he hid my cookies. I sulked for 30 minutes, spoke abruptly to my son when he asked for a snack, and instead had a piece of chocolate. Later in the day, my wife completed the story. The cookies weren't lost; they were on top of the fridge where she put them after she found him with them at 5 am, next to him while he played his Nintendo DS.

The moral of this story: Don't love cookies more than your kids!

The lesson learned: "For where your treasure is, there will be your heart be also" (Matt 6:21)

Lidded versus Unlidded

So the day continued with a haircut at the local barbershop. As I noticed my hair falling around me, there was something about it that shocked me. I blinked and studied it again, and realized that about 50% of it was grey! This at age 35! What a bummer! So as he finished trimming my hair, I thought I had better get it short so all that grey would not show as much (the paleness of scalp hides grey much better than a background of medium-brown hair). So I asked him to take a little more off until I was satisfied that I couldn't see any grey. Now my hair was ultra short, and paranoid about my balding spot appearing more bald, I promptly went out and put a hat on. I told my wife this story, and she told me that she'll love me even if I am grey, and even if I'm bald. Suffice it to say the hat is still on.
The moral of this story: Don't cut your hair, and otherwise wear a hat, even to bed.

The lesson learned: Count your blessings. It could always be worse.

Ulmus crassifolia

So I headed home and decided that today was the day to take down a tree that had been storm damaged. It needed to come down, but in all honesty it was a way for me to get some exercise, be outdoors, play with a chainsaw, and give me some time to think and re-prioritize. I set out cutting down limbs, cutting them up, and hauling the limbs to the limb dump. It took 8 trips to the limb dump, 2 episodes of repairing the chainsaw, one episode of getting the chainsaw caught and hanging in a limb for 20 minutes, multiple scratches, and only one limb-to-the-eye episode. As I neared the last hour the limb dump was open, I was fretting that i wasn't going to get all the limbs there in time, lamenting that I was doing this all alone. Just then, a gentleman pulled up in a pickup truck with chainsaws in back, inquiring if I was going to use the tree for firewood. We struck a deal, and he helped me finish up the job in time to get the limbs to the dump, relieving my worries. It is finally down!

The moral of this story: Don't plant trees, because the tree limb dump is open long enough.

The lesson learned: "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Phil 4:19)


I cleaned up the yard and went to stack the wood in the wood rack. In the way was a plastic slide from a swingset, which I dragged out of the way and began stacking wood. Suddenly, a wasp presented itself in my face, and I began both my flight and fight response as I backed away, swatting at the wasp. Well, it stung me on the arm and flew away. I looked for the source of the wasp, looked over at the slide, and lo and behold, wasps were pouring out of 2 screw holes. I grabbed some wasp spray that was sitting nearby (lucky, huh) and took aim, killing a total of 12 wasps (I think I got two more with some Jose Canseco home run swings with be broom as well). So what did I do? I finished stacking my wood, hauled the slide over by the trash, cleaned up, and went in for a shower. Yep, it's true, I didn't go to the ER. Can you believe it? My arm became red and swollen and it was painful, but instead of pursuing the route of emergency care like some of my patients, I toughed it out. Used some ice. Found the benadryl in case I needed it. Ahh, independent thinking, lack of panic, and common sense. If only we were all born with it!

The moral of this story: Put on black clothes and giant fake wings each time you go outside so you'll intimidate wasps that are in the area.

The lesson learned: "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)

So this was the day I had as an unconventional doctor. I was cranky with one of my children, obsessed about a food item, concerned about my personal appearance, exaggerated feelings of injustice and neglect, cut down a tree, and got stung by a wasp. Perhaps unconventional for a doctor, but not for a person.

The lesson finale of the day: The next time when you want ice cream, just get ice cream.
Photos by stinker over there to your right.


The Unconventional Doctor's Wife said...

Oh, my poor, traumatized baby...hope you have a better Sunday than the Saturday you had! But at least you looked for what you could learn from the situations. And I think your grey hair is straight sexy.

caligirl said...

I love your blog!! I didnt know this was you!

just a little bit shabby said...

Just a little hint from a nurse. Next time someone gets a sting. Of course wash it to keep from getting cellulitis then put deodorant on the site and cover with an ice pack. The aluminum in the deodorant will neutralize the venom. Try it, it works we use it in our clinic a lot. (occ health )

Oskar Glauber said...

I like it when folks come together and share views. Great site, continue the good work! hotmail sign in email